Evan is right . . . UWE BOLL WILL SAVE US.

Yes — "Dead Silence." So bad it ALMOST made me feel a dull pang of sympathy for Donnie Wahlberg — the guy who looks even MORE like a date rapist than his infinitely more successful brother.

I would start watching the show again if Bob Newhart signed on . . . With gusto, even — if it's possible to WATCH anything with gusto.

THE AUDIO . . .
HATH SURFACED:

In total agreement, BEANS — I just wish it was ONLY Goggins an Trejo with a bunch of Predators. If written correctly, that would be the ultimate Predator movie. Goggins and Trejo running, jumping, dodging and exchanging pithy dialogue while them super aliens mow through some human fodder, like missionaries or soldiers.

No.

Isla Fisher and Emma stone have been the most reasonable suggestions so far — with Fisher edging ahead because of her stupid, traditionally wholesome face.

I would watch a Jamaican crab do just about anything.

Shirley Manson looks fifty fucking years old. That's an awful mention — just awful.

"The Mighty Morphin' Power Predators/Das Predator/200 Predators/Predator" (replacing "Alien" — oh yes.)/Adventures in Babysitting Predators/Superpredator/Superbad Predator/National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation with Predators/Austin Predator: The Predator Who Eviscerated Me/Predator Mountain/The Elephant…

Ballpark, yeah; but to me, if Koechner replied (with an almost prearranged nonchalance, nearly interrupting the end of the temp's inquiry), "No, the license plate is about my cock. My cock is big and I want people to know that I have a big cock — my cock is my life," I would never forget the scene.

Nevertheless, WASS, which movies to produce is a conscious — if collective — decision, made based on prospective profits from all avenues of marketing. Again — this is a very simple business model. You know that — it's obvious to anyone who takes a minute to think about it. Twilight has merchandising potential out…

RALPH: Not that I know of. RADAR is still reporting that the audio exists as a result of actions taken by this Oksana to record how "mean" he is/was and how she "feared for her life;" and that they, RADAR, — EXCLUSIVELY — have heard it.

Mr. Tanaka FTW? I certainly drank to it.

I've never seen any Twilight movies, nor read any of the little girl novels; so, I have to ask . . . Is the joke that Vampires don't NEED guns to kill people (but he used one, so, hahaha) or just that he shot Alice? Do the angst-ridden, peculiarly attractive…

Hey, I know it's all over the place now — but isn't it incredible to imagine Mel actually punching that woman WHILE she was holding the baby? HA! TOMMY LEE SHIT RIGHT THERE! Do you think he was wearing just a Viking hat and had a rock-solid erection; and grew angry when she would not put down the crying infant to…

They're just movies. No one HAS to see them, you know? I am more resentful of the fact that these terrible writers and directors are being given the cash to make this dreck — but there's a reason for it . . . The flicks are still banking. It's fucking nauseating, but it's true — it's a fucking RULE, man; if you make…

Yeah, but your user name is funnier than that whole trailer.

FINALLY! I've been scrolling down, looking for a mention! Community is probably the most consistently hilarious comedy on television — and Modern Warfare was an amazing episode.

Ian Mckellan's Corpse, Obligated Postmortem by a Landmark, Beyond-Iron-Clad Contract, to Star in Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit;" Marionette-Style Strings to be Expertly Hidden by State-of-the-Art Computer Stuff.