Well, if it's my dentist, you're getting fucked just by being there, so the complementary handjob certainly feels like a reacharound.

Win 8.1 asked me about file associations every time I opened a file after I installed, and there's a Default Whatever menu. Full-screen apps are a bit weird, so I guess don't use them. I actually found the charms menu hard to open, go figure. But then there's nothing much in there unless you have to connect to a…

Is that where you immerse the whole computer in ice water for half an hour? Have to say, it works a treat. No more overheating here.

But there isn't always a separate button!

If the receptionist has to reach around the counter to give you the handjob, then yeah, I'd say it fits the description.

I never found that I missed a touchscreen - in fact, I don't think it was any better when I used one. That may be because I don't like people touching my screen, but mouse and keyboard is fine. It's just big icons. And it is just the menu - if you don't like it, don't look at it.

But equally, you may find that the reacharound by itself suits you just fine if you have ten minutes to kill in the dentist's waiting room.

Oh my god, a sensible person. Yes, the Metro thing is a LARGE PRINT START MENU

It had better! That was the point of the Surface.

You do get that 'tablet mode' is actually just the menu? MS didn't do a very good job of explaining this. But it's not like you have to do everything from in there, the desktop is the same as before (actually better). How long do you spend looking at the Start menu every day?

8.1 is loads better, it's what 8 should have been at launch. Just get it. Complaining about the free upgrade is like moaning about a complementary reacharound: what they're offering may make the whole experience quite different for you.

Windows 8 is pretty straightforward, I found. It's basically Windows 7.1 with a better file explorer and task manager, and an odd new menu.

I can never get enough Michael K. Williams. He's getting some air time in Boardwalk Empire, but the dude has the chops to carry something himself.

Bad mohels don't get tips, though.

¡Madre de dios!

Portlandia Nine-Nine!

If TPP makes it to Gen V, then Omastar will reveal its true power. SHELL SMASH SON

Maybe the problem with that show was that it was too expensive to run, what with submarine and island sets. They need to reboot for season two, setting the characters in a patisserie.

Yes! It is TRUE! They survived their absorption into our culture and are now providing us with insights into ourselves we never dreamed of!

Magnificent post/username synergy there. There really ought to be a Webby category for this.