Sorry, already owned by CBS.

They didn't use my tastefully shot nudes.

What's weird to me is, once I've bought something…say a water filter for my refrigerator…I'll see ads for it for like weeks after. I ALREADY BOUGHT THE WATER FILTER AND I PROBABLY WON'T NEED ANOTHER ONE FOR LIKE 6 MONTHS SO LEAVE ME ALONE ROBOTS!

I KNEW those Google Map cars were following me!

This story is…the greatest of all time…

Every piece of promotional material made me think this was going to be on the History Channel or something. It did not feel like it was a movie movie.

Ok…Bradford.

This isn't working? THIS ISN"T WORKING? Are you kidding me? Of course it's working! It's the best/worst show on tv! The only people who think they're going to find love are the schmucks who go on the show and a couple of women from Missoula, Montana who haven't gone on a date in about 26 years.

When you're ready to talk, you know where you can find us.

Math!

What else has your "uncle" made you do? You're not under oath.

He's better than the Trivago guy. I hate the Trivago guy.

Ima guessing that it's cooler (and more accurate) to say that Sean Connery is the best Bond but Roger Moore was Bond when I was a kid growing up. Everyone else is second.

Or above.

You're new to the internet, aren't you?

She's the one on the stage, just left of center.

But what if I really, really want to?

Please tell me that his parents were really cool and his middle name is Obi?

Knotts Berry Farm is a good place to go if you want to get shivved.

Heck, I can't afford it now.