I have always really enjoyed this feature, and it has helped me discover some books I probably wouldn't have heard of otherwise, so I thought I would actually contribute this month.

My favorite In the Year 2000 was, "it will be revealed that the U.S.Supreme Court is just a regular court with tomatoes and sour cream." I stole that joke and used it when I was in law school and received nothing but glares from my classmates, which was the exact moment I realized I would spend the next three years…

My favorite Actual Items was an ad for Super Extreme Kraft Mac & Cheese or some other nonsense name like that with an asterisk that read: Regular Mac & Cheese still available for step-children. That one elicited boos from the crowd too, but it made Conan put his head on his desk and laugh for about 30 seconds, which…

I have the complete opposite reaction to Satanic possession movies than A.A. Dowd. I too grew up in a secular home where the only church I ever attended was the occasional Easter Sunday service at my grandparents terrifying fire and brimstone Pentecostal Church. I would watch movies like the Exorcist and spend the…

It can be confusing, but one is saying Christ's birth was from a virgin and the other was a miraculous catch and touchdown run by Franco Harris in the final seconds of the 1972 AFC divisional game that propelled the Pittsburgh Steelers to victory over the Oakland Raiders.

One time when I was studying for an exam my friends and I asked each other this question, wrote down the responses and then read them out loud (needless to say we weren't particularly motivated to do well on this exam). I was in my early 20's and arrogant, so I wrote down something ridiculous like Cillian Murphy, and…

Homer: I don't mind being called a liar when I'm lying, or about to lie, or just finished lying, but NOT WHEN I'M TELLING THE TRUTH.

I had read some Stephen King when I was in high school and, although I enjoyed his books, I went about a decade without reading any of his stuff. I picked up Joe Hill's book NOS4A2 late last year and really enjoyed it, and that got me wanting to start reading Stephen King again. I tore through "11/22/63" and "It" in…

I'm an attorney in Flint, Michigan and just last week I got a new client whose name is John Conner and I thought it was kind of funny and joked about it with my friends a little bit. Now I learn that fifty miles away in Ann Arbor U of M just created the building blocks for Terminators and now I'm pretty certain that…

Congratulations on another fourth place finish Browns fans!

I remember staying with a friend's family last year when I visited Cleveland to go to a Tigers-Indians game at Progressive and my friend's dad had a den that had a shrine to Bernie Kosar in the corner. It looked like something set up for a saint, with a framed jersey, signed 8x10's and pictures of Bernie Kosar and…

My parents were pretty lenient about letting me watch and listen to just about anything I wanted and I remember feeling like the coolest 2nd grader in the world when my Dad let me go to the theater with him to watch Terminator 2. My parents even made a big to do about a 1st grade teacher who had given me a bad grade…

I remember watching the Joey Lawrence video as a ten year old and being infuriated that in the clip where he is playing football on the beach it clearly begins with him dropping back to pass and the next shot is of him catching, presumably, the pass he just threw. I remember thinking how on earth is he fast enough to…

One of the first times my current girlfriend and I made love she had her ipod on shuffle and the volume to a point where we could hardly hear the songs. She has pretty good taste in music so it was just background noise until a song came on that was vaguely familiar but was so quiet I couldn't place it. It was…

I like the idea of Fat Kilmer Batman slowly arriving at the scene of the crime in his BatRascal.

Wow a Lil Wayne Donruss Diamond King! I would easily trade you two Greg Swindell's and a Chris Sabo or a Kenny Anderson Skybox for one of those!!!

I started playing this trailer before I unmuted my speakers and having forgotten that I had a Spotify playlist from this morning still running, you can imagine my surprise when I thought the opening scene was of a vehicle pulling up to a gas station with "Fat Bottomed Girls" blasting on the radio.  Unfortunately it…

Ironically, it was Omar Gooding who was the janitor responsible for cleaning up Justin Bieber and the Wild Kidz piss water.

Seeing as how this is the New Yorker I assumed the joke would be something I would really have to think hard about to understand and I think I get this one.  Bert and Ernie are really just horrible racists bonding over the news that the Supreme Court overturned the Voting Rights Act.

Yeah I live in glorious downtown Flint in a house I bought for 12k cash and its surprisingly expensive to live here since.  Anybody with any money at all left the city 40 years ago so the only way the city can raise money is to tax the shit out of the property owners.  It hits especially hard when you get a special…