The guest numbers as a whole have been a huge disappointment so far this season. Well, the Wade Robson routine to kick off the season was terrific, but since then the show's gone 0-for-3, with none of those three even coming close to matching the standards of the past two seasons. I'd argue that Season 5's group…

Kirk too? Has the musical genius of Adam Sandler truly led me astray? I was led to believe I could spin a dreidel with both Kirk and his first officer.

How bad a screenwriter is James Cameron? Ironically, I'd say bad enough that he must wear a hat of poop to come up with some of the dialogue he does.

"Elevator Love Letter" is one of the best songs of the '00s, just a fantastic slice of power-pop. So they're definitely more than a one-song band.

No, he's right.

It would have been … well, let's be charitable and say "less than disastrous" if they hadn't been sitting a giant pile of footage from the actual, you know, dancers. The comedy and in-home awkwardness are bad enough. But to choose them over the thing that people actually watch the show for—dancers dancing—is a…

As I think you yourself have pointed out, Doc, they also seem to have a contestant pool that gets thinner by the season in ballroom, since unless you're planning on joining Dancing With the Stars it doesn't yield much in terms of a ballroom career. I don't feel like they've got an overabundance of talented applicants…

You'd assume she looked over her own interview at least once.

The All-Stars only dance in their own genre, right? Each week you get a new All-Star and dance whatever genre they dance. So Anya and Pasha—the two ballroom returnees—will be handling QuickStep and Foxtrot chores.

But without the gigantic video screen in back, where would we have seen the texts for NapTab's text-breakup hip-hop number? The seizure-inducing laser light shows for half the routines last season? That's a critical part of the dance equation you're ignoring there.

I'm fairly sure the elder Kasprzak (sp?) has, to use a sports term, exhausted his eligibility.

I'm so glad
That an hour's worth of Nigel and his Big Yellow Penis -slash-Tyce mugging his way across the Miami airport-slash-Lil' C talking into the camera was more worthwhile than showing us the Billy Bell solo that supposedly got him in the top televen. Or Jose's solo. Or Alex's. Or anyone who wasn't Lauren.

Lauren was the girl who celebrated by punching armrests all the way down the aisle and spazzing across the lobby like, well, me in eighth grade after a big Quiz Bowl win, right? Yeah, I'm not worried about her quirk factor. Dancing aside (for now), standard-issue fizzy blonde she's not.

It's a chicken-and-egg problem, though—if MTV had never quit showing music videos in the first place, record companies might still pony up for quality spots by artists that weren't at the very pinnacle of the commercial heap. (Such as it is these days.) You could put together a 120 Minutes-type program, but since…

Limp defense dismissed. "Okona" wins my prize as the worst of the entire series, narrowly edging "Lonely Among Us."

Also on Friends, remember, "The One With the Alien Energy Rape"? Phoebe seemed to be appropriately freaked out, I guess, but I remember thinking Chandler's sarcastic remarks and Rachel's flirtation with Phoebe's flummoxed, good-looking doctor seemed pretty out-of-line.

Disagree on "The Neutral Zone" ranking among the low points of the season. The uncloaking of the new—and undeniably badass—warbird alone lifts it above "Angel One," "Lonely Among Us," "Code of Honor," etc. Wasted opportunity or not, I'll take half a good episode over a completely terrible one every day of the week.

Why? Some of Leslie's and Andy's best moments are in confessionals. "I'm so angry I can't think of another color! … [long pause] … green." You'd lose that?

i declare him to be an outlaw

Can we toss the Radio Dept.'s _Clinging to a Scheme_ into this discussion? Because I'm on like my 17th listen, and it's still getting better.