"itinerant carny dirtbags"

Warren is a godsend - he knows the greats and is humble, deferential and reverential to them in the midst of being amongst them.

It seems that the irony of acceptance for the free spirited,yet marginalized, fans of the Grateful Dead being dismissed and ridiculed is lost on the free spirited denizens of the AV Club. Say what you want about a place you have never been; a Dead show is the most communal, spiritual and joyous experience on earth…

Don't be cruel; that would forever link him to Elvis Presley. The King doesn't deserve that.

What's your opinion on V-neck shorts?

You were laughed at for having leg hair? That seems odd. Unless it is just one long hair that winds its way around both of your legs.

Mrs Alps was shaken, not stirred?

This comment gets my oil slicked baby seal of approval.

mts = many tubby seniors

Boners gonna bone

Batter Up! A little dribbler and you're out!

"I don't even like to sleep alone without a sheet over me…."

"so you're saying I should stop pounding this drum with my boner? Well, alright, alright alright."

He's suspiciously hanging around the spank bank lobby collecting interest. There is most likely a stick-up and forced withdrawal in the works.

Wait? Frank?

I am The Walrus - Choo-Choo Ka Joo!

I can't blame you; potentially bumping into your dad at a nudist colony would be nuts.

I'll bet they looked at you cock-eyed after that flaccid excuse.

DON"T FORGET TO PUT ON YOUR PANTS BEFORE STANDING!!!

The Trapper Keeper Velcro clasp came in handy. When your unpredictable, unannounced and unstoppable boner ripped a hole in your Bugle Boys you could just rip open the Velcro to mask the sound.