I hate the mid-90s hacker characters who are called stupid things like Zap or Zed who are also into extreme sports and have their own stupid made-up cool slang and when they've finished hacking they go off to a brightly lit illegal warehouse rave where girls in pvc catsuits and stupid bjork-ish knotty hairdos and…

Sam Rockwell. We could also have sex if he wanted.

I'd love it. Only if I could be a dame with great gams and moxie though.

Forgot to add: Pip pip!

Fictional world? I'm British, so all of these hijinks you're talking about is just part of a normal day for me.

Yeah, Walkers have brought out a kind of 'flavours of britain' range. Charlie Brooker says the "Builders' Breakfast" flavour tastes like 'someone burping egg at you through a jockstrap'. It still wasn't enough to stop me trying them, though.

Don't you ever apologize for hating Dave Eggers.

Great, first the Dave-Eggers-and-wife smug whimsy-fest, then this.

Seriously, I would wreck him.

If I ever have a nervous breakdown, I want Oswald the Octopus to be played on a loop on my hospital room tv.

Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.

The one about Leela's parents? When you see them leaving presents for her and covering her up at night. Sniffle.

I'm not proud of this
I want to say something like Ikiru, but honestly, am I the only person who got choked up at the episodes of 8 Simple Rules after John Ritter died? Apart from him having died in real life, there was something about the banal things people say and do when someone dies (like bringing round endless…

"You are Lisa Simpson".

Noseybonk
http://www.youtube.com/watc…

Fuck, now that I think of it, no good can come of reading a book that spawned that shitty, shitty song. And Mickey Rooney in the film…

Breakfast at Tiffany's
The book, not the film. Short and glamorous enough for my vapid, self-absorbed teenaged self to actually sit down and read (the fuck was I actually going to read The Brothers Karamazov) but all about someone restless and terrified under all their sophistication, just like me and every other…