Simon Last?

Fuck yes. That is all.

The tipping point for me was watching "Two for the Money" when I realized that - while it's not a very good movie - Al Pacino was actually the worst part about it. That movie could have been halfway decent if he had been replaced with Gene Hackman or maybe Tommy Lee Jones. Very upsetting.

Second of all Ashton Kuthcer should be sentenced to death by skullfucking.

Port Authority is more depressing in every way unless there's a jubilant crowd on its way to a Giants/Jets game. Penn Station has the Acela to and fro so there's some high class travel going on there. To put it plainly, Port Authority is a bus station which is intrinsically more depressing than a train station. I hope…

I don't think Phish fans take themselves very seriously. It's just that Phish gets shit on by the hipsterocracy that they get a little defensive. Let's start bashing Sonic Youth or Yo La Tengo and see what happens.

And let's not overlook the Chulula-Tapatio border wars going on right now.

I actaully really like that title. When were we supposed to look for the Beatie Boys for serious anything much less album titles? Chill out, people. Album titles rarely mean anything.

Grizzly Bear goes all the way on the first date. AV Club is thinking about inviting Grizzly Bear to the family's house in the Hamptons to meet the parents this weekend.

*Spoiler Alert*

I enjoyed Robin Williams in The Aristocrats too.

I'd watch Night at the MOMA if it starred Joseph Gordon-Levitt and was directed by Darren Aronofsky.

Agreed. Someone has to keep making movies that are ok to watch when you're hungover.

Cock-strokingly?

Switch Hitting - Your Introduction to Bisexuality
Bench Clearing Brawl - Bukkake Porn and You

Day-Night Doubleheader: An Idiot's Guide to Paternity Tests

"Ball-kickingly" is now in my rotation. Thank you. I don't know whether it's ahead of "pants-shittingly" yet. I'll have to test it out first.

Puerto Ricans are American and, thus, not in the target demo.

[Fade in]

Yep, Balls is my real name. Why would I lie to a bunch of swell internet commenters like you? I was kinda thinking of replacng Jake Gyllenhall with Ashton Kutcher, but Jesus blowing Matthew do I hate that guy so much that I couldn't even include him for irony's sake.