I heard they're going to put all the hairdressers and telephone sanitizers on the B ark.

I think ten bucks is a perfectly fine price to pay for a full-on stumble drunk. And for ten bucks, you can get a sixer of delicious beer that is fun in the present tense, rather than just being a pathway to drunkeness. The markets here in Upstate NY are now all selling Great Lakes Brewing Company beers for 8 bucks…

I do believe it is "zhub, zhub."

Also, Dawkins is right. It's difficult, I know, to think that you're offending your grandmother's stupid beliefs. But look, they're still stupid beliefs, even if they're held by someone you like.

Yeah, neeeerds. We'll be over here in our fantasy football draft, for when you guys grow up.

The first rule of LARPing is that you cannot touch the other players. I will violate this rule while punching you in the face.

Wherefore?

Holy shit, Ghostwriter. Tell me you just made that up on the spot. My co workers are all looking worriedly at each other now that I laughed uncontrollably and then refused to tell them why.

I mean, no offense, Steven: You're a talented writer, and that imagery is certainly evocative. It's just…guh.

I have got the shits of music reviews.
"basslines that slither among the sonic wreckage like metallic snakes"? Really?

PEDANT ALERT for Shit McFuckenstein: Tikka Masala isn't actually an Indian dish at all. It was likely conceived in Scotland.

Well, Abbies Dad, either I Write Like is full of shit, or you're a true amalgam of four of the best writers of the last century, or you're lying. I'm guessing the first, no offense.

So my point is, yeah it's distracting, but so what?

I suppose I'm the only one who totally cheers when Robert Englund shows up in anything. Even the crummy shit — I mean, you're one of the go-to guys for low-mid budget horror, get in there and make your paper. He comes off as a genuinely creepy man, and is a real bright spot in the Rise of Leslie Vernon, and the only…

When I was an up-and-coming BMX racer, I never got to ride through a giant bowl of Trix, nor did I ever, ever, take more than a single lap on any BMX track, because that's not how it's done. Take that, RAD.

Ah, the old dial-up error. Problem with your reasoning there is that there was no registration in those wild old days.

Prezc is Mark Linkous's poltergeist. And he's pissed.

SPOILER SPOILER HOLY SHIT SPOILER AND IT HAS TO DO WITH LOST, SO JUST BACK OFF, OKAY?

It wouldn't be accurate to say it improved, exactly. But it did ramp up the luridness and the sleaziness and the nudity, and it became slightly less tongue-in-cheek.

Yes
I'm entirely excited about this.
We horror buffs are perfectly okay with somewhat hollow pics — "impeccably crafted mayhem" is a hell of an honor to bestow on a horror flick. It's a very rare genre pic indeed that doesn't bow under contemplation of the plot.