DNA? What exactly are you asking? A logical explanation for a story about a flood that kills everyone but Russel Crowe? He used his Jesus-powers to create diversity, for some reason that never gets explained.

Power beams and Godzilla. I can't wait!

Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash.

What minorities? The whole world is full of saggy-baggy Australians who all look like Russel Crowe, the Bible says so.

Only if it mentions that Native Americans are, you know, the lost 10th Tribe of Israel, because apparently modern saints are not just homophobic but complete idiots when it comes to world history.

Give this movie a D-! At one time The Onion wrote brilliant snips like "Pope Urges More Compassion Between Saved and Hell-Bound." I could see, "Noah Says 'See Ya Suckas' to Humanity" as a fine summary of this movie. Of course the AV Club has neither the wit nor balls to ruffle feathers, so this gets a B- … bravo,…