The Hobbit: Still With That Big White Orc, Already

Like most of the painstakingly created and passionately argued dissections of Inception's ending, this one makes it clearer that Inception's ending doesn't matter much.

Hopefully it will have a Downton-style holiday special, "Yule Balls"

I'm going to go ahead and masturbate, but I'm not committing to anything yet.

Finite Costume and Hair Budget

A Supposedly Lucrative Thing I Would Never Have Agreed to In the First Place

Mom?

I tried so hard to make an Expanded Jewniverse joke about Watto, but just couldn't find the hook. Like, a hook nose.

Croonchy Storrs, bork bork bork

What, now there's a map, and all of a sudden rape is OK?

I guess technically it's just Andre now.

He could be florid, romantic, mischievous, melodramatic, deviant, sexy, melancholy, magical, and hilarious, often all in a single sentence. Marquez was a master of language and student of love, or the other way around, and we're all better for his having lived. What a loss.

::masturbates with gravitas::

Billionaire manchego tastes different. It's like the "real party" in Brain Candy.

To that film's credit, one of the loudest laughs I've ever had in a theater is when Andre 3000 says his screenplay is called "Nasty."

I can't argue too much with #1, but Primal Scream's "Movin' on Up" belongs in the top 5, and those aren't even among the best Oasis songs ON THAT ALBUM. Also, is J&MC too psychedelic or something?

Today in "The Headline Tells You Everything You Need To Know"

There Will Be Opium

Now is the time to panic, Grasshopper.

Symbolism, Dude.