Starring:

OH GARRATY

They're searching desperately for the ghost of O'Neal.

Before he finished The Dark Tower (and gave us a load of nothing) a lot of people thought King would eventually reveal the owner of the electric hand etc. and the godlike entities behind the events of The Stand and his other Christian-themed books.

Don't say "shade-throwing". Especially when people in the South LIKE shade. It doesn't even make sense.

Don't screenwriters write characters…?

That's just the window-dressing of The Stand, though. Like all King's best work, there's weirdness and depth that goes way beyond the (often catchy enough) cover concept. The Stand is really about an old lady and a deranged hippie who suddenly gain magical powers AFTER the virus apocalypse. It's batshit. I really want…

They couldn't get a three-act Hollywood product out of it without adding tons of shit (flashbacks, a love interest, etc.). It would be terrible, and I'm glad it hasn't been adapted yet. But a 55-minute one-off on Netflix would be amazing.

Cuba doesn't have that kind of range.

Your son has a name. It's Charlie.

Is this 2011?

I read for ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER and TomWaitsForTheApocalypse

Does a bear shit in the woods? Louis is Jesus Christ to these people.

In Don't Be a Menace Wayans' father was clearly much younger than he was. It was a stroke of brute-force satire that totally worked, for me. Everything else about the movie is completely forgettable though.

Blazing Saddles, History of the World, The Producers. I even like Men in Tights.

I always thought of millenials as being under twenty. Turns out I'm a millennial??

Millenials don't know what The Simpsons is.

I love Mel Brooks but I've tried to watch Young Frankenstein several times and I never finished because it's SO FUCKING BORING. I kept waiting for the jokes. Where are the jokes?

No gag! The CRITTERS films just keep coming up organically, I swear!

WE GET IT, YOU'RE FROM SOUTH AFRICA