I recently read a tweet that went something like this.

[Ron Howard narrator voice]

"The Magic Asshole?"
"That's what I said."

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I will never understand why anyone tries to apply any sense of story continuity to the Zelda games.

I had always wondered how far in advance they'd planned the How Mac Got Fat episode, since he's pretty thin in the flashback scenes. It all makes sense now, thanks!

That's some white nonsense.

*looks at empty comment section*

Have you read his book, A Load of Hooey? It's good.

"This was a particularly bad case of somebody being cut in half. I was not able to reattach the top half of his body to the bottom half of his body."

It's dangerous having an office just a few blocks away from a Bodo's. My current favorite is a BLT with jalapeno-lime cream cheese on an everything bagel.

If you need a background dancer for when you perform the song live, I can dance for up to 15 seconds.

I've lived in Charlottesville for 6 years and spent about half of my childhood in Arlington (which I'll admit is nothing like the rest of Virginia), and I had never heard of peanut pie until I read this article.

I didn't know Quvenzhané Wallis was your daughter!

If he's anything like his character in Star Wars, he'll keep living for decades after he wants to die.

(I'm different!)

I'd rather watch a series about the Bookkeeper from Comedy Bang Bang's Halloween episode.

I'd rather not talk about that elephant in the room.

'Mona Lisa' from the Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping soundtrack is legitimately one of my favorite songs that came out last year. 'I'm So Humble' is great too, and I'm glad Dowd gave it some recognition.

Agreed, but the existence of Celebrity Jeopardy is 100% justified by the one time Andy Richter kicked Wolf Blitzer's ass.