Last year I had been dating a girl for a few weeks before I realized she looked a little like Ted Cruz. That was the beginning of the end. (She was also kind of annoying - confirmed by my friends - and we weren't a great match. I'm not completely shallow.)

You guys got his son's name wrong; it's Cuervo Jones.

I will never not upvote a Mac Tonight reference.

Alien Nation?

A "dark Superman" could make a good movie. The problem with BvS, as I believe someone pointed out on this site, is that it basically asked the question "What if Superman and Batman were both grim assholes?"

I thought that last part was pronounced "DABAJADAZA"

Ted Levine AND Toby Jones? They're going overboard with the eye candy in this one.

Grimsby is stupid and fun and well-made and has some surprisingly sweet moments. It's worth a watch.

Ooh, maybe the rip in time and space could take the form of a giant glowing blue ball of energy, perhaps above a major city!

Sure, Marvel's giant action spectacles have heart, but Football In The Groin has a football in the groin.

Empire came out before I was born and I can't count the number of times I've watched it over the years, so it's easy to take Yoda for granted, but man… It's insane what a gamble they made with that character. He's a wise mentor with lots of dialogue and close-up screen time, who absolutely has to be taken seriously…

My girlfriend and I watched the new Michael Bolton Valentine's Day special on Netflix last night, and Janeane Garofalo had a small part in it that made me so happy. She's great at low-key goofball slapstick and I love her.

Yeah, but she smells like a burger. I don't like her anymore.

"I need the biggest boulder you have.

Are you being sarcastic, dude?

That may be true globally (I honestly don't know), but most modern terrorism in the US originates in the US with far-right white nationalist types.

"Sex tool?" Come on man, did you even listen to Mac's explanation?!

I'm genuinely frightened of what that last one might entail.

It's a jumping off point!

I was just talking about the Burn After Reading sex chair with a friend earlier this week, so you can imagine my excitement the moment that bike appeared. And Dennis Perkins is right, the comic timing on the "fist" was perfect.