Ladies and Gentlemen of the AV Club,
I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and was later thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! When I see Mario Lopez in Midtown Manhatten, I wonder, why does that woman have so much rendered whale blubber in her hair. I don't know, because I'm…

Ladies and gentlemen of the AV Club, I'm just a caveman. Your world frightens and confuses me! When I see a young man with a flare strapped to his crotch, I wonder, is that some sort of exotic mating call? Am I going to go blind? I don't know. Because I'm just a caveman, and that's the way my caveman brain works. But…

Ladies and Gentlemen of Sundance…
I'm just a caveman. When I see a child playing with a dog, I wonder, 'Is he going to cut that animal's throat and climb inside it for warmth?' I don't know, because I'm just a caveman, and that's the way I think. But there's one thing I do know, when a child is left at a Utah film…

Ladies and Gentlemen of Sundance…
I'm just a caveman. When I see a child playing with a dog, I wonder, 'Is he going to cut that animal's throat and climb inside it for warmth?' I don't know, because I'm just a caveman, and that's the way I think. But there's one thing I do know, when a child is left at a Utah film…

Mr. Canon,

Ladies and Gentlemen of the AV Club,
I'm just a caveman. When I see two women huddled close to eachother, I wonder, 'are those women starting a fire? will I be fed be some sort of stew?' I don't know, because I'm just a caveman.
But there's one thing I do know, and that is whatever two women and a transgendered person…

It's just Cirroc, your honor.

He's doing that because it's stealing his soul.

Sometimes when I fly to Europe on the Concorde, I wonder, am I inside some sort of giant bird?

Mr. Modell, if I may…
This is certainly a strange modern invention.

I get frightened and confused when listening to the magic voices coming out of this strange modern invention.

SOMETIMES WHEN I READ ABOUT THE ROCK, I WONDER
Is this Rock actually alive? Rock sounds like a rock, but also sounds like a man. I don't know, because I'm just I caveman. Before I was thawed out by your 'scientists,' we just used rock to smash other, smaller rocks.