WHY DO MY WRISTS HURT?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY SWEATER!

Oh, honey, don't call me "boss." That makes me feel like some kind of monster. Call me "Dad."

An above ground sprinkler on the front lawn! No sir! What's next, prostitutes rising out of the ground and spitting all over our lawns? Well, not in my neighborhood!

THIS ISN'T AN AMBULANCE! IT'S A HAMBULANCE!

And as if it wasn't enough that he was Jewish, and mentally retarded…

The music in that convenience store scene is so relaxing.

What can I say Steve, I'm sort of a wild chick.

And the ladies? Well they call me Burt-Burt.

"Pardon me sir, I'm what you might call an advanced drinker. And I've been having a dickens of a time concocting an eggnog that provides the certain… heady tingle that I require."

Stan of Arabia is the true turning point of the show. After that no episodes were out and out duds, they were always at least watchable.

No, don't hug him Oscar! He's Hermann Göring!

"That was a whoopee cushion!"

The Democrats have completely cut our torture budget. They're using the money to teach inner city kids…to read.

Who knew watching a head explode from like 16 different angles and speeds could be so hilarious

PINCECONES ARE GRENADES!

The lack of Roy Rogers McFreely offends me.

Intervention is on A&E, not AMC.

Squidbillies isn't critically reviled.

Your hot taek is super ludicrous.