Hanks is a goddamned national treasure. When I think of how he started—as simply an incredibly gifted comedian—it makes his late period work all the more remarkable. There's always been a depth to him, though, a likability that made even stuff like The Money Pit funny (I love that movie).

Maybe he could have a show on HBO? Something in the vein of his current show? I really like his take on some of the absurdities of sports. He seems to be the only one I've seen that doesn't treat sports journalism as just another jingoistic highlight reel or an excuse to kiss athletes' ass. He may be a douche, but I…

Ugh…you are so right! I forgot about all the spinoffs. Rogue, the bounty hunters, Obi-Wan, I'm sure it's going to get out of control. The Marvel and DC stuff just seems like a factory crank, one after the other. So tiring and so confusing, but people still line up.

Was Nightmare 3 the Dream Warriors one? If so, then a thousand times yes. "WELCOME TO PRIME TIME, BITCH" *Don Dokken yells, George Lynch wanks*

Oooh…that is a good one! How about Jaws 3? "SEAL THE PARK!" *growling great white* Fuck it, I tried.

And The Godfather. Are there any good third movies? Jedi? Last Crusade?

That's a good question. I feel a bit sad, too, I suppose. Disney wants to make money, and the cynical part of me knows that no matter how they screw everything up, it will be the biggest money maker of all time.

Indeed…just watched part of the first one the other day. Michael Beihn is a perfect hero—scrappy, committed, passionate…Beihn really fucking nails that role.

This is true. The newer movies don't ruin what the first two meant to me. And the prequels, as bad as they are, don't ruin the original Star Wars stuff. But outside of loving those films, they still get diluted in the long run, when you think about the whole film universe they've created. T2 was a perfect ending. And…

I think we've finally reached critical Terminator fatigue. Actually, I think that happened a long time ago. Ugh, the third one was so cheesy. Salvation was an abomination. And this new one—I haven't seen it, but it seems like another convoluted piece of garbage as much as I love Arnie. Isn't there some point where it…

This is a great list! Happy Fourth to you and yours!

Happy Fourth, everyone!

AMERICA, FUCK YEAH.

Just one look at Cruz's family a few years ago in that picture was all I needed to never consider him a serious candidate for anything (not that I did, but just saying), not even dog catcher.

I remember Reese says something about "skin grown for the cyborgs" in the first film? Ugh, you're right, though. I mean, I know we are working with paradoxes and other various things that will never make sense. But, good lord.

*Stupidly buys all the green properties that no one ever lands on*

Unless you employ the money on Free Parking trope, which keeps everyone in the game and inspires sighs, more hurt feelings and possibly fisticuffs.

There is no reason to panic. It’s true the pilot is ill. Slightly ill. The others are doing just fine and they are handling the controls, free to live a life of religious fulfillment.

Has anyone ever had a more slappable face than this clown? I mean, Jesus. This guy is a candidate for president? Garbage in, garbage out. Fuck, America, get your shit together.

Yep. Plus, IV has "Happy birthday Paulie" from his 80s sex robot.