That sounds like a sweet gig. So from what I gather you sit in front of an iMac and they pay you $82 an hour? Sign me up bro. Here's my credit card  and social security number.

You sayin' we ain't workin'?

That cannon ball guy…he's cool. Dude are you being sarcastic? I don't even know anymore.

Shit I forgot: Liam Neeson as a Hallucination dispensing plot points!

You've just been brainwashed by that tomfoolery Vanderduff was pimping about this being the show that kills the golden era of tv.

I loved the Russo stuff. In my household we refer to him lovingly as "Coke Dad". What shennagins will Coke Dad get up to next week? Tune in to find out.

That's how I feel about Girls [slide whistle]

Back in university I doodled nake ladies in the margins of my notebook so I get where you're coming from brah.

I just clued in now but I shouldn't have been duped so easily. It'd be impossible for this guy to type these responses so fast using only one hand.

Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he dressed up as girl bunny?

It puts the little pony in the basket or else it gets the hose again.

Hey everyone! We've finally found the Zodiac killer. Call the cops!

@avclub-7340b9ebe3aeb361fd0f48aedae9ab03: Comment redacted in light of obvious gimmick

There's hope the Channing Tatum in Diehard in the Whitehouse…again is coming out in a couple months.

[Get a load of this guy cam]

Humungus Needs Gas

I didn't read any of it. Can I have the cliff notes?

Teamsters

Don't touch me motherf-cker

I'm picturing the family from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.