Unfair. My username is Firstenberg, in honour of Sam Firstenberg. It does not automatically follow that my every post must be considered a failed Firstenberg, because every post by Firstenberg is a winner.

A hammerhead would have been more useful than a great white, I'll grant you, but any shark can apply cement with his pectoral fins.

"Submerged spunk"? Would that actually be of benefit to your singing voice?

The Israeli director of Breakin' that he's referring to was Sam Firstenberg. He didn't know anything about breakin' and he didn't know anything about martial arts either, but that didn't stop him making Revenge Of The Ninja and American Ninja and a whole fucking run of ninja-based video-shop classics through the…

I just watched a movie called Swamp Shark. It has DB Sweeney in it, as well as Kristy Swanson and Robert Fucking Davi. All of them look old. Check it out, is what I'm saying.

Yeah, this guy Haden makes the reasonable point that Ridley Scott hasn't made anything great in almost 30 years. Where he loses me is the moronic suggestion that Scott was not the "main reason" for the success of Alien and Blade Runner. Presumably he means artistic success, because Blade Runner was a notorious…

I remember the cover of that movie in the video shop when I was a kid, but only saw it recently. It's actually pretty well-made, well-written, and nasty in an almost Edgar Allen Poe kind of way. It might have been better if Carpenter had brought his widescreen eye to it, but it's still quite an evil and haunting movie.

Q magazine is so utterly fucked in its faculties, and so heavily influenced by some spurious idea of rock "classicism" that they even  gave the third Oasis album five fucking stars.

This record is incredibly addictive.

Anybody else read Colson Whitehead's brand new classic of zombie-lit, Zone One? Now that's how you do a zombie apocalypse with serious commitment to social and psychological realism, which is more or less how this show was touted. The dialogue is excellent too, and there isn't nearly so much of it. Mini-series, I…

Trainspotting was set in Edinburgh. Nae cunt leaves until ye get that fucking straight.

Yeah they filmed it and it's on the DVD. They recut Petersen's death scene to make it look like he'd only been blasted in the chest (still at point blank range mind you), then added a bit where he and Pankow have been posted to an FBI field station at the top of a fucking mountain in Alaska. Also on the DVD, Friedkin…

To Live And Die In LA. William Petersen's nominal hero isn't all that sympathetic, but he's a pretty daring hot-dog badass, and does not deserve to take a dismissive shotgun blast to the face just BEFORE the final showdown. The first few times you see it, it's difficult to concentrate on what happens next because…