It could all just be the dream of acid-tripping granny after she crashed the penguin filled school bus and coldcocked herself on the steering wheel.

Don't you dare slow down Johnny Quest or Hajji in their search for the crystal key to Shangri-La!  Dr. Quest is counting on them!

"The Inquisition" is already prefabricated and prefabulous.

Aww, Mongo straight!

Do I have any openings that this man might fit?

Elevate me.

THERE WAS A FIREFUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK!

Listen to me you COCKY PRICK, you'll do what I say or you'll be sleeping with the fishes, see?

Don't worry Mr. Green, Ms. Barrymore still cares for you and Freddy Got Fingered was robbed of the Oscar, any critical laurels or good box office.

Garth Brooks : Chris Gains ::      ?      : Caleb Grinsfield II

How much airplane glue did you huff before coming to the conclusion that Chris Penn learned to dance.  Not even a fullbore 80s training montage could accomplish that!

Regarding Dr. Dre's infamous run in with Dee Barnes I think it best to quote the poet and scholar Marshall Mathers:

If peeing your pants is cool then I'm Chris Brown.

I like when The AVClub ventures into more substantial territory, particularly when it can't be ignored that the serious story is related to showbiz/pop culture.

Print the 2936 words about forty to a page, roll the paper up real tight and jam it down his throat like Ash tried to with Ripley.

"Married and bored or single and lonely.  Married and bored or single and lonely.  Married and bored or single and lonely…"

You'll never see (but oh fuck! would I love to) Brown dating a chick like Ronda Rousey or Gina Carano.

I'm also your father.  Just don't factcheck that.

That's why I regularly try to bring his spirit back onto our plane of being using summoning circles, the evocation of Old Gods, four quarts of whiskey, a pound of blow and peyote buttons taken by factors of ten.

"Lost in a Roman,
wilderness of pain…
All the children are insane…"