send this whole fucking show to Belize.

i'm super sad that they revealed Oliver to be Vogel's son instead of an adult Harrison who traveled back in time to get even with Dexter for being such a shitty dad.

i am really hoping Harrison's drawing of the zombie was actually a clue letting us know that Harrison is actually the Brain Surgeon and that Cassie's Boyfriend, Fake Ryan Gosling, is actually an adult Harrison who has traveled back in time to get revenge against Dexter for being a shitty father.

in my imagined Dexter spin-off which is just about the character Dexter becoming self aware and breaking the 3rd wall and coming into the real world to seek revenge for spending 8 years on a poorly written tv show, this will be the kill list.

it's fuckin' Vogel. i mean, she's the stunt casting so she's the obvious Big Bad. that's how this show always works.

The FBI on the Following give Miami Metro a pretty solid run.

no one has pointed out that the high point of the episode was Harrison telling Quinn his name was Harrison. for some reason i laughed at that scene for about 2 minutes until my girlfriend asked if i had gone insane.

not even a little bit good. just boring as all hell.

if there's still a music scene left in Escape From New York, this is what i imagine it to sound like.

although Sam's jump suit made me cringe and wanna crawl under my couch because of teenage style shame flashbacks, nothing on this show will ever or can ever be more embarrassing than when Nick auditions for the band.

yeah, there's that big jump in confidence when Mom stops buying your clothes for you at Ross.

Psychopaths are not considerate.

no, i think everyone has been calling him Faux Gosling.

i can't wait for this goddamned show to be over so i can finally cancel showtime for good. if they really wanted to make me keep paying for the CBS of premium cable then they'd do a solid and bring back Red Shoe Diaries.

i'm ready for the spin-off where Dexter the character becomes self-aware of Dexter the tv show and spends his time killing the writers.