I was in Kenya for 9 days. Did I miss anything?

Only twitterers between the ages of 32-45 will get this.

Ok, I chuckled.

He's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

She's not black like Barry White, no she's white like Frank Black is.

I blame the 'Fun Loving Criminals.'

Here's an interview from 2010. I guess it will have to do.

Chuck Palahniuk's Survivor was supposed to be a movie before 9/11. I thought it would make a good one.

We're just not getting a Mose Allison obituary, are we?

Han M'Boogie Parker?

I can drink Bud in a bottle and not any other way. And definitely has to be cold.

I just them post they are now available in Massachusetts. It was a big deal when they arrived in Maryland maybe 3 or 4 years ago. Maybe Jersey is soon (they brew on the East Coast now)

Honestly it would be more likely they'd include the most famous old National product—Colt 45.

All the Charm City ____ names have been taken.

If you want another one, the lead singer for Simple Minds is a dead ringer for Jeff Ross:

In going back and watching the last couple months of Craig Ferguson's Late Show, I think she unintentionally convinced Craig to stop being a vegetarian and have a steak. She's on one week and they talk about it and the next week he's discussing it with Sarah Paulson. He goes 'i'm a vegan now—except for this weekend I…

Oh how she rocks. In Keds and tube socks?

ahem.

This guys thinks everywhere is Key West!

edit: Are you asked who he played or how to spell it?