You heard it here for the first time ever, Stones r00l and Beatles drool. The Stones were TOUGH (really tough, like violent criminals put in a jail cell for committing crimes) and had SEX. They rubbed their PASSIONATE, YOUTHFUL PENISES directly on the GROOVE SURFACE OF THE VINYL RECORD (this is a metaphor for how real…

@The Artist Formerly Known as the Dan in Real Life Poster: If "Easy Lover" is "a jam (relatively speaking)" then "Abacab" is, like, ten thousand jams shooting off jets of Yamaha breastmilk. And if you consider "embracing cheesiness" a virtue (as I do), I submit "I Know What I Like," "Who Dunnit?," "Illegal Alien" and…