I'd be more likely to buy this book if it was written by a man.

Can't sleep. Lucille will kill me.

Was that the prequel to Baby's Day Out?

Even after all these months, I still can't believe how crazy half my country is.

You mean the full torso apparition?

White guys have names like Lenny, whereas black guys have names like Carl.

I know what you're thinking. I want to take the pressure off. Now, it doesn't take a wiz to know that you're looking out for Number One. Well, listen to me, and you'll make a big splash very soon.

Is that where the blue milk comes from?

My question is about the budget for the Netflix Original Series Popples, sir.

Your post inspired me to see what Netflix is recommending for me:

Mrs. Langdon Alger, you are well known for your lenient stance on crappy horror movies, but suppose for a second that your house was ransacked by thugs, your family was tied up in the basement with socks in their mouths, you try to open the door but there's too much blood on the knob…

Agreed. It's a diverse clade of thousands of species of fascinating animals that dominated the earth for tens of millions of years. There's a virtually bottomless well to draw from, and no need to create new "superdinosaurs"—or, for that matter, to exaggerate the real thing (i.e. the Mosasaurus).

Compsognathus?

That kid will soon be 13.

Ironically, I watched The Squid and the Whale to see giant animals fight each other. I ended up very disappointed.

You said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud.

Which is exactly what you want in a commercial jingle. I'd say it's genius.

Last night I made a quick trip to a Barnes and Noble to grab a coffee just before closing. I live in a small-ish city without a whole lot going on, so I'm kind of a regular there.

An Armour man, I see.

Yeah, this guy was 87.