cuz beeyotch

“Never regret thy fall,
O Icarus of the fearless flight
For the greatest tragedy of them all
Is never to feel the burning light.”

I would be okay with pink, white and blue chips to support our gay troops.

We could use a man like you down at the Doritos Fun Factory.

Oh look, another tobacco lobbyist posing as an internet commenter trying to pin Bill Hicks' death on me.

Funny you should mention, we're currently working on a Jimmy James' Mom Doritos Dust Clean-Up.

I like to think of myself as the JD Salinger of gimmick accounts.

It's really not my fault that you're such a wimp

You're welcome.

Doritos commercials
Sure my ads were kinda dumb this year, but did they make you want Doritos? Of course they did. You're probably eating them right now. And if not, you're putting them onyour shopping list. Mission accomplished.

Dear Immaculate Misconception,