Wouldn't a superhero running Tough Mudder be a massive dick? "Hey, keep training, assholes. I might go ahead and run this again before you haul your normal asses across the finish line."

If the new Spider-man says "hashtag {anything}" out loud, I'm done. With everything.

There's a poet named Brenda Marie Osbey. And a bird called an osprey. And then there are insults about how big your schnozz be. Some combination of those has got to lead to trenchant commentary.

Is it possible that Logan's entire character arc came out of Dohring's confusion about the term "villain?"

"Channeling her inner Caroline Rhea" needs to become a euphemism for something filthy.

No sign of a certain Squeakquel, yet. Fingers crossed!

"Ain't we gonna bury them fellas?"
"To hell with them fellas. Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms."

Wow, what a filthy way to express enthusiasm. Hope it catches on.

Does anybody get that you could bring back Wings and Coach simultaneously and still call it Coach? Because it would be about Hayden Fox flying inexpensively from his home to his son's new school several times per season. And maybe there could be a monkey or sassy, precocious child involved, and a huge sandwich.

Never mind. I saw another headline on Facebook calling this "that Arrested Development Easter Egg." I have been bullshat by clickbait once again, through no fault of AV Club's.

All right, I'll put my head on the chopping block. What's the Arrested Development connection?

See, I would have gone with Bob Saget's "Father and Scout." But same impulse.

Out of curiosity, honest question: can anyone think of a more horrific / less appropriate film readily available on a major streaming service that this teacher could have shown? Antichrist?

Huge, gratuitous Ernie Hudson slam out of nowhere. Which, by the way, I would totally order at Denny's.

Quick, someone call Joseph Gordon-Levitt twelve years ago!

Wow, finally a picture in which he doesn't look like Ryan Braun. That's got to help his case.

Wouldn't it be weird if next year it was "HOT-CHA-CHA!!!?"

For all I know, it's been that way since 1998. That's the sad part.

Can I just interject here to say that I just noticed that the little AV Club bar at the top of the screen fills up with grey as you scroll through the story? No? Ok, sorry.

(Packs up Gallagher-style suitcase and walks away dejectedly).