THE MCRIB IS NEVER COMING BACK?!?!?!

Maybe he has no limbs and must click via a helmet with a stick on his forehead. I guess that would make it kind of hard to click on all of these articles and type out pointless comments.

Do you have a way to see my dreams? If so, please turn it off on the nights I eat pizza.

Great. Now he has to find something else to cry about.

Nope! It wasn't past its expiration date, was properly refrigerated, etc. It was a very confusing and unpleasant experience.

Thanks for keepin' this going while I've missed the past few weeks.

BAH GAWD KING HE'S BROKEN HER IN HALF!

I love your username.

I also tried to make a new breakfast sandwich to market to Denny's, but it failed catastrophically.

I started reading a book that featured a Viking / Vampire / Navy SEAL (a "VANGEL") for laughs but my brain hurt after reading it so I'm not going to anymore. Oh, the main character's name is TROND.

Same here, friendo.

Well, on Sunday I ate some steak that based upon how my stomach and bowels were acting the next day was not exactly—how you say—fit for consumption.

[Fly buzzes around]

Football's training camps start soon. Slowdive tickets go on sale on Friday.

girneyburns pls.

No, but it does mean you're stricken with CancerAIDs.

All I can say is: http://imgur.com/pkP1roA

Natalie Portman's Shaved Head or iwrestledabearonce are far, far worse.

You should have them printed on bubble gum!

I wasn't aware of the TV deal! Thanks for that bit of insight.