I'm gonna make mine a slammer 'cause all your business card pogs are WHACK.

Win or lose you still have the best logo in sports: Brownie the Elf.

I secretly hope that people think of Manning as "that guy with the giant forehead who sells bad pizza."

I want to see him do well because he irritates the hell out of the COLD HARD FACTS HOT TAKES crotchity old sports writers like Peter King. He's fun to watch play. In college he reminded me a lot of Favre's funslingin' but I don't know how well he will do in the NFL.

It's true! The Brewers have a dog mascot (HANK!) and it's the best.

THE MAN HAS A FAMILY!

Nah, Jordan had a ton of one-year contracts through his career. It's basically to ensure that you, the current best player in the league, can make the most money possible. It's a shrewd business decision.

Swagger the dog owns. All teams should have dog mascots.

But that QB graveyard gave us this: http://img.bleacherreport.n…

I will be very surprised if he isn't broken in half in the first game he plays.

We're so glad you feel the need to tell us how little you care on nearly every sports article.

Trust me, the Browns will be terrible again this year.

Wire.

You wanna know the meals leading up to this momentous occasion?

Yeah? Well, my body is officially working on another turd and you don't see me bragging about it.

Yeah, it's a sad situation all around.

For what it's worth this the story has been largely forgotten because Oberst and his team was able to completely dispel the accusation before he even filed his own lawsuit. The accuser has a history of making these kinds of stories up (likely to due mental illness). This is just bringing it into the light again.

I WILL GET TO SEE THEM THE DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY!!

Riley Cooper, wide receiver for the Philadelphia Eagles, makes racist comments in the previous offseason. He stays on the team, puts up a career year, and the media largely says he's "redeemed himself."

"Rip It Up And Start Again" has a good section on the label, if you're interested in a book about post-punk.