Only person?!?  Go back to the pond, rookie!

Eddie Shore?

^This.

Unquestionably a bit.

When you make a career out of basically saying stuff sucks, the retribution is swift and merciless when something you make sucks.

You showed him!

I drink my breakfast.

Two hipsters walk into a bar with scrambled eggs on their heads.  One looks around and sees that everyone else in the bar is wearing a fried egg on their heads.  He screams, "What the fuck!  When did wearing egg on your head get all mainstream."
His buddy shakes his head and says, "This bar is so over. Easy."

Shit, @avclub-e2b2ad10a0cce81f7b1757538471f089:disqus .

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

A hipster walks into a bar.  Bartender says, "PBR sold out an hour ago."  
The hipster says, "At least."

Sounds like a good day.

Germans?

[LIGHTS CIGARETTE, INHALES DEEPLY]

Why did the hipster write a joke book for kids?

My God, what have we done?

[TURNS KEY]

I was going to throw a cat out a window, but now will not, so the world is now set to -1 in the cat thrown out the window dept.  That means that when someone does throw a cat out a window, we're back to 0 and it's like it never happened.

Why did the hipster burn his lip?

Placing Bay on double secret probation?