Got a shout-out on the AV Club today, Kevin.  Isn't that what you cool people call it these days?  A shout-out?  When someone talks about something you did a while back, because it has something to do with what they're talking about?

And speaking of the internet—have you heard about this?—there's a commenter on the AV Club message boards—the pop culture website, you've heard of the AV Club, right, Rickey? Well, there's a commenter there who doesn't think Jay Leno's very funny. [Audience groans] No, no, I'm serious—he doesn't think I'm very…

And speaking of celebrities, did you see this about Jay Leno? Jay Leno, taking a beating on internet message boards? It's a—no, no, let's cut the shit. Come say that shit to my face and we'll see who catches a fucking beating. You think what I do is easy? It could be real goddamn easy and it still wouldn't be as…

And, you know, it's always nice to know that the people out there appreciate you, and so I was just touched when someone commented that my post was the best thing he'd read all day. [Scattered applause] Best thing he'd read all day. [Band strikes up a jaunty tune] Yeah. And I was so happy until I realized that he…

Jay Leno's back in the news. Have you seen this? Jay Leno, moving out of the Tonight Show and taking a show in prime time? Big news in the world of entertainment. Big news. And apparently not everybody is excited because —this is a real quote—because a TV critic called Leno "timely, cheap and marginally funny." …

And there's sad news in the world of entertainment. Sad news. Did you hear about this? Mickey Rourke—this is true—Mickey Rourke's chihuahua Loki—the dog was named Loki—his chihuahua died today. [Sympathetic groans from the audience] Awww… yeah, I know, it's a very sad story. Anyway, Mickey Rourke—this is true—he…