Dave's hair is more agreeable..

Actually she drank a load of liquid fibreglass to coat her tongue before she did that because she is a pussy.

Maybe when Ricky Gervais turns gay he is made to watch a video of himself making "ironic" homophobic jokes and then he commits seppuku with a sword that Blaine then transmutes into a rusty spork.

Can he make Jefferson Starship appear in Harrison's house for a Life Day present and then Harrison gets pissed off because everyone is wearing shoes in the house and he sics Callista on everyone and sells them all to Kanye as his new slaves.

Does he have a brother named Alastair.

Truffle fries?

Racist. Possibly.

At my work I encountered a Renesmee.

Maybe it's $50 because you're seeing it in England and exchange rates and stuff.

Don't you dare degrade the Colonel like that you punk all of his chicken is fried.

He will always be the fucker who thought "Mitt" was a better name than "Will".

Fuck all of you snobs.

Thanks for reminding me that we never got the KFC Double Down in the UK.

Maybe Kiefer should have been a pirate then things might have swung out a bit better for that kid.

Zadie Smith stole all his ink.

Does anyone remember when Friends was gonna end with Rachel dying in childbirth.

ashews or GTFO

Do hashtags used in texts.

::Bangs married director::

HERE COME JEFFERSON STARSHIP