And if that doesn't work out…
…I'm sure Ivan could make some room!

Have you no journalistic integrity?
Was it in a contract that you would not bring up 'Streetfighter: The Movie?" So many questions remain unanswered. I want to hear about late night line-readings with Kylie Minogue and oozing sexual tension with Raul Julia. Do I have to go back to reading the Post?

critics' favorite
I wasn't pulling for any oscar nominees this year, but this was my favorite for the razzie.

I simply MUST stop being so horrified!

I'm not calling larry's fans stupid because they're fat, I'm calling them fat AND stupid. Watch his specials for 1 crowd reaction and tell me I'm wrong. Then turn it off, because your ears will start bleeding.

Special arrangements for the Larry fans
I hope the theatres have extra-wide seating for Larry's southern-fried, fatty fans. I'd hate to see them sitting in the isle and posing a fire hazzard. Actually, I wouldn't hate to see that at all.

"I thought you said you wanted to do something kinky."

It is such a classic, that its name is invoked around every movie dealing with conflicting storylines. It's kind of like saying 'Jinx.'

Tagline for Overnight: There's more than one way to shoot yourself.

Better than it has any right to be.
I, like Mr. Tobias here, watched the deleted scenes and regretted it. I am at a point now (thankfully) where I don't remember the specifics of why I hated them, but I do remember that it really started hitting you over the head with half-baked theology. The nuanced beauty I loved…

What an unfortunately named web address.

Monkey Shines
Anyone here seen Monkey Shines? If you haven't, you should. It's really, really funny.

House Party 5 Of the Dead

Dolph Lundgren? Indy? You mean that guy who was in Universal Soldier? Just…go away. You've embarrased us both enough already.

I take full responsibility for misspelling prowess.

Is my beatdown going to be eastcoast/westcoast style, or SVU style. And I do appreciate your lovely wife's prowace at managing your current rap "career."

Rich LA types and whores find love all the time. Just look at Ice T!

He must have an astronomical cleaning bill for his Audi.

If he criticized the dialog in my film, I would kill myself. However, if he called me out on a lack of product placement, I could live with that.

I assumed his mom snapped this photo on the first day of his third year at Hogwarts.