@Enkidum

Lobsters, how would you describe your haircut game?

BOYFIGHTS

Football
Breaking Bad S2D1
P&R S2

No comedy.

Well then, I think you are coming correct.

If he's anything like me, he'd get hammered drunk and play Zelda for a couple days.

Well, if you're not live, I suspect you might be a bird.

Well… how is your haircut game? Would you describe it as live?

Great Job, Boypussy!

Ron Fucking Swanson goes undercover all the time.

I was shooting for the coveted second, but you know what they say "a minute off is a limit quaff."

Steroids do not shrink your member, they shrink your nards.

Never
Not funny.

So all 300 million people are purchasing cable individually?

You're wild about those wacky headlines!

I thought you were banned.

+ Marisa Tomei

C'mon - "I burned my lady-fingers" was a slightly obvious route but funny at the time.

I liked the "Are you serious?" gag when Phil was grossed out by Claire.