I always think of that movie as Valkenvania, which was the original title. I'm pretty sure the name change is the reason it bombed at the box office.

Shut up, Leonard.

Come here, Boomy. Ah fuck it.

In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face.

What do you mean?

Yes. Except that I'd like to go in fresh. I stopped it part way through even though it's very hard to not go back and see more.

Like Moses?

Exactly. "John Carter" is a pretty boring title (not to mention a character from ER). Plus, it's really confusing when paired with posters that show a half dressed men hanging around Red Rocks near sunset with some fuzzy looking odd shaped people in the background.

Also… Virgil. Fly.

Exactly.  What happened to Virgil? Did he and that girl chimp make a family in the Florida swamplands? These are things the audience want to know.

He should do a remake of that one John Malkovich movie. The one where he's that jewel thief.

Or at least this weekend. Strange that two movies with such similar names came out at the same time.

So, the movie isn't a reenactment and explanation of this weird situation:

It's coming out on my birthday! Can't wait until twenty-14!

Yeah, why does the article make it seem like @phel doesn't comment here anymore when her profile shows she commented as recently as yesterday. Prison Wine though, fuck him.

I agree with @avclub-eb573591cef285c12701571987b08381:disqus . The prose and story were insanely tedious. I had to force myself to finish it. I eventually did read Memnoch the Devil. But only because it was a gift.

CLONES???

The villain seems to be channeling Richard Grant. I'm generally ok with that though.

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His ancestors were from Pittsburgh!