Whoa… this is a gutpunch to my childhood… Raffi's telling the truth though, and Baby Beluga is still out there, just a little white whale on the go, right? Baby Beluga can't die, right? Right? Mom?

16) Barack Hussein Obama

16) Barack Hussein Obama

It has to be, right? Although the last time I tried mocking what I thought was a gimmick they turned out to legitimately be a teenager with Asperger's, so I can never be too sure.

It has to be, right? Although the last time I tried mocking what I thought was a gimmick they turned out to legitimately be a teenager with Asperger's, so I can never be too sure.

I heard a joke once too. It went: what do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator!

I heard a joke once too. It went: what do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator!

I hope someone goes full-McSweeney's and writes a "Barack Obama as a Character in Sweet Valley High, Interviewed by Murphy Brown" sort of twee wankfest.

I hope someone goes full-McSweeney's and writes a "Barack Obama as a Character in Sweet Valley High, Interviewed by Murphy Brown" sort of twee wankfest.

I wonder how this will be received by McSweeneys' notoriously fundamentalist neo-con readership.

I wonder how this will be received by McSweeneys' notoriously fundamentalist neo-con readership.

I saw this in the theater and loved it but somehow had no idea that it was based on a TV series. It's pretty awesome to discover that there is a whole lot more of this out there.

I saw this in the theater and loved it but somehow had no idea that it was based on a TV series. It's pretty awesome to discover that there is a whole lot more of this out there.

This sounds like some fucked up Harmony Korine shit. Goddamn this for being real.

This sounds like some fucked up Harmony Korine shit. Goddamn this for being real.

This was a great interview. Good job, Mr. Adams.

This was a great interview. Good job, Mr. Adams.

I am greatly disturbed by the picture accompanying this article. We can clearly see Shaggy 2 Dope accepting the children's money, but he seems to be eating the ice cream treats himself rather than dispensing them to his paying customers. Is this what constitutes fair business practices in the juggalo culture? Have the…

I am greatly disturbed by the picture accompanying this article. We can clearly see Shaggy 2 Dope accepting the children's money, but he seems to be eating the ice cream treats himself rather than dispensing them to his paying customers. Is this what constitutes fair business practices in the juggalo culture? Have the…

I like to imagine that he just woke up with no memory of the past few years. "Wait, you're telling me I've been wearing a giant mouse helmet this whole time? Why didn't anybody ever stop me?"