I hope Roger Mexico pees on your desk as two jack-booted octogenarians double team you while speaking only in ecclesiastical Latin.

Marfa is a good place to become totally batshit crazy.

What about Shockey? I bet he's super racist against aliens too.

It's a writing staff apocalypse!

The meme lives!

Jesus. Training LeBron to fight is a scary thought. Though for some reason I get the feeling he's got a glass jaw. One good tentacle to the face and it might be over. We need someone with more hatred.

Exactly right, the bowl system isn't about crowning a national champion. With 119 teams and a 10 game season, this is impossible. But about 60 teams get that one last game that will offer the chance for glory.

Tuck is correct both about the thing that's great about the NFL and the fact that NBA players are hardly the same species as me. Dwight Howard could crush my skull with one hand. If I had to choose one champion to represent earth in an intergalactic gladiatorial death match, he's my guy.

Karla, I was merely refuting the idea that NFL players are inferior athletes to Premiere league/La Liga players. Obviously no one but Messi could do what he does. That's what being the best in the world means. But that's an issue of skill, not mere athleticism. Similarly, Messi probably couldn't pull down a 1500…

I love the claim that NFL players aren't athletes. Yes, out of your 22 starters you've got about 6 guys who push 300 pounds. But they're not just fat slobs. Those dudes are incredibly strong. There was a Monday Night game a few years back where they showed Larry Allen (best guard of all time, suck it) benching 700…

thewarfreak's right. If God tells you to kill someone, you do it. Ask Abraham and generations of his descendants.

Vhy am I drippings wiz goo?

The Station Agent's not bad. He had a pretty good, brief run on 30 Rock. And it's seasonally appropriate to mention Elf. That's a winningly not-terrible Christmas movie. So, thanks for that.

Wow, HDB, you're doing an awesome job of being neither shocking nor funny. Please, regale us with some dead baby jokes.

I'll have a black russian in his honor. It's the strongest thing I've got.

Ah, yes, a buturgoopheachiduguineateawoopartplovlapquailthrushlarkortobuntbler

Also GLut, Tinky, Burl, horsefellow, Tarkovsky's Former AD, Stacy 512…we can get old school on this thread.

No, it just implies they like Batman PORN more. They might, in fact, not care for regular Batman at all.

This explains my perpetual case of jock nose.

No. But don't worry, you have all that heroin.