It's the little pre-packaged cups of pseudo-butter. They're full of donkey pheromones.

False. Pizza can be actually, honestly good. Why eat something that tastes like shit because you've decided that it _should_ for some reason, taste like shit? Are you the guy who keep CBIC in business?

And here, I was thinking this would be the year I'd do something.

*Ahem*
Oh God! Oh Man! Oh God! Oh Man!

I went to school with a kid named Justin Sane. That was bad, but I swear to God we had a German exchange student named Liza Lotta Peters.

I believe what you're looking for is…
See you auntie.

You dropped your pocket.

Oh, look, a ZoMoFo impersonator. Never seen that before.

Sorry, Fred, but you're exactly wrong. Yes, Zig is a moron. He's young and impulsive and a terrible decision-maker. But the question is…why?

Oh No!
I can't see Videocracy comments. I didn't realize how much of my social circle lived there until just now.

Yeah, I kinda preferred the narrow boxes too. But dear god, the shock white background is going to kill me.

Yeah, I kinda preferred the narrow boxes too. But dear god, the shock white background is going to kill me.

The real-life Magical Negro!

Wait just a dad-burn minute
Is that the Dog Whisperer playing drums?

Also, Lone Star has the added benefit of having a Texas flag on the can.

If a person could run at about 70 mph, they could run across the surface of water.

Newton
Newton would approve. Newton's laws are brilliant because he recognized that friction and gravity aren't fundamental, but instead are add-ons.

Well hated!
The hater at her finest.

Not to be a pedant, but the phrase is actually "Madding Crowd." It's not that the crowd is making you mad, it's that the crowd is getting mad. Unless that's what you were going for, in which case, disregard what I've said.

I was wondering if anyone would snag that handle.