It was a near-impossible challenge for me to keep switching back and forth from the Breaking Bad finale to this episode. I couldn't choose just one.

Good Lord, that was a satisfying season premiere. Stan's love for Darren the Dodo, Steve and Snot's parenting skills, and a whole shitload of implausible Roger logic. What a great start to the season.

Sims actually has a point. Get Aaron Paul on the show, at least for one season. The dude's a funny guy.

Seriously. Nasim never seems to catch a break, does she? She needs her own breakout NBC series á la The Mindy Project. Maybe that'll get her some attention.

The whole ending was just perfect. I don't think there'll ever be an episode conclusion as unexpectedly hilarious as that one.

This was…watchable. But holy shit, was the dialogue and acting overly earnest. I like Michael J. Fox and all, but I doubt this show has the power to make it past at least two seasons. I probably won't be following this one on a regular basis, but hey, there's always Netflix.

So Sue's now the principal (shocker), Artie and Kitty are a thing, Rachel's a waitress with Santana, and Kurt and Blaine are engaged. Is there a chance in hell that Glee will ever become less predictable than already is? Probably not.

That was my favorite sketch of the night, by far. The end where they both shatter into glass was batshit absurd in the best way possible.

The Dan Smith rap at the end is what did it for me.

That film is a misunderstood masterpiece, as can clearly be seen by the totally non-ironic A- community grade. Josh Peck's humble, Oscar-worthy performance was riveting.

"Extra-long"

Maybe this Network wouldn't have gotten a D if it was more "Social."

Which would crash and burn faster?

*sings along to Bow Wow Wow's "I Want Candy"*

Of course he's content. He has two new melon friends to play with.

4. How much do we actually see naked of Scarlett Johansson?

I don't know. I still have high hopes for this movie. Any film with Scarlett Johansson playing an anti-porn Jersey girl with an exaggerated accent can't be that bad, can it?

Hungarian parents.

This is just perfect.

Why, Paula Patton? Why?