Hell yeah, Jorge. My brothers and I used to obsessively impersonate that guy. My all-time favorite over-the-top action movie villain (next to the evil Middle-Eastern general from Iron Eagle).

How about a novel about a werewolf who encourages kids to stay in school? Or a "make sure your vaccinations are up to date" mummy?

Somewhere in Prison Wine's basement is Clarissa.

I suppose there's a grain of truth to all of these comments.

Next season: Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty?

Yeah.

Did I seriously just write "marital arts"?

Thanks, Aleskel. That's the one.

I believe he was also the star of that Brazilian dance/marital arts movie (what's that shit called?), which was a slice of B action movie cheese heaven.

Zima, actually.

Too legit to quit! …but not too legit to be run out of office amidst a major ethics scandal. Rather illegit, actually.

By the way, what's the name of that hipster-hating commenter here who uses Delay's mugshot in his avatar? Haven't seen him in a while…

Didn't that new Piven movie
already kill comedy this summer? This one's just beating the dead horse that was comedy.

Gerrymandering With the Stars
Actually, he'll just redistrict the show so that Len Goodman's vote doesn't count.

BobbyFlay and GOOP were both mentioned above, and while they are both undeniably puchworthy, the one who really deserves to be punched by every person who ever encounters him is their fat-ball-of-Croc-wearing-excess buddy Mario Batali.

I'm still holding out for Matt Pinfield's jazzercise game.

Nevermind… looks like we missed it.

You're an NYC-area guy if I'm not mistaken, right Alex? It might still be playing in Montclair, NJ if you're willing to come out that far.

Douche and Douchier?

The opening scene would have two guys saying nothing but "frak" for 10 minutes.