Yup. Always a couple o' good drunken brawls on St. Paddy's day.

twagenaar: I was going for "donkey punched!", but you're right, the Post would find a way to work the word "ass" in there.

I'd just go with what he suggested already: replace Roberts with Angelina Jolie. Or, you could go the opposite route and replace Clive Owen with Richard Gere - that way you have two asexuals, so its still balanced. God, can you imagine those two trying to create sexual chemistry on film? Oh, wait…

I hope some D-List celeb hits their significant other with a donkey one of these days just so I can see the Post headline. You know where I'm going with this.

I've got cancerAIDS on me fingers!

That gal's career is really going to take off once she sheds that wholesome, virtuous image. Sure, it brings the Disney crowd in, but unfortunately its s-e-x that sells these days. Perhaps she should do a song with a subtle sexual double-entendre in the title… you know, "pet my beaver" or something along those lines.

I blame everything on Eugene Mirman.

I don't just laugh a bit to myself at d0ngs; I embrace d0ngs openly. Wait, that's not what I meant…

::Pauses briefly, sees Towelie dousing Bascule in gasoline and striking a match, shrugs, goes about business::

Say, can one of you guys loan me $20,000 so I can bail myself out of this Nigerian prison? I'm your internet friend, so I'll totally pay you back.

The picture in d0ngs' profile doesn't match the one here. Oddly enough, It's two polar bears, which further enhances the mystery for me. These d0ngs truly go deep.

I'm just drivin' you, Miss Possibilities.

this thread is for the birds.

This sounds awesome when I read it in Morgan Freeman's voice.

"Coooo… Coooo… *splat*"

Yes, and DJ AM also… sorry, too soon.

I don't see how anybody is going to be afraid of a bunch of bird people… except maybe Capt. Chesley Sullenberger.

He's actually not always a prick in person (see below), but I think a lot of the hate stems from the perception that he's a tremendous douche in real life. People might be more forgiving of his recent dreck if he had built up more personal good will, but unfortunately he seems to be the type of person that people…

I met Chevy Chase once and he was actually really nice. We were walking past a limo and my friend (being the asshole that he is) noticed that Chevy Chase was inside and started pointing and making a scene. Chevy actually opened the door and got out and shook our hands. He was in the limo with a couple of other…

I'd like to see him work with Courtney D0ngs Arquette.