And where would I be finding country jams and jellies?

I do not avoid women Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.

Zooey
You forgot to add "baristas hoping to one day work at indie record shops" to your list of guys who fall for Zooey-tropes.

Tooo sooon.

ARRGH
I always thought A Capella was just for ivy league kids with terrible taste in music. You know, the kind that only like top 40, country music, Cake and Ben Fol… oooooh. This album has a very specific market.

Examples please!

Any word on who's going to be in Yiddish Policeman's Union? The Cohen Brothers are all set to make that one, right? It seems perfectly suited to them, shaggy-dog detective story that it is. Almost too perfect…

Like being the most hip DeGroot.

I'm guessing it was his laptop, her attack-cat, and poisoned apples.

What kind of sword would Conor use? I think he would use a rusty broadsword that's too big for him. Tim would use a meat cleaver. Can we get a sword-fighting game featuring all our favorite whiny musicians, like Emo-Game, but without the Aerosmith or skull fucking? Can I just post this same thing on Offworld and make…

The Judge needs to be played by Michael Berryman. He even has the disease that the Judge is described as having- no hair or fingernails. Cormac comes in to the restaurant I work at fairly often and each time I struggle not to accost him with this fact because I'm sure he doesn't care, but then again…

I agree about pants being funny, but I think "short-shorts" might be funnier than "hot-pants."

Best Line
"This is what you're ACTUALLY like in a relationship," delivered in a speedy hiss during the middle of his happy family lines. It's true, it's true.

Christopher Guest please.

T-Bone is certainly correct about Vangelis being needed here.

My favorite staring contest was when Abe Lincoln showed up behind Conan and eventually revealed that he had two curled up dead squirrels for breasts.

Maybe
it's just a little gross-out hangover from the Fired Up thread, but I stopped reading at, "Here's the full release."

You gotta have dick zits if you want some Triscuits.

Hive Minded Van Wilder
Sounds like an I Am Legend spin-off or mash up.

Gotta rock it to climb in the cock-pit.