I'd say assign him to the upcoming spinoff, but I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. But if Alston wants to volunteer…

Normally when people say "I could've (done something a professional failed to do)," they're mostly exaggerating. I could have caught that pass. I could have taught that lesson better. This season of Dexter is the rare case where I think at least 80% of AV Club members could have written a better final season. Even if…

It's depressing for me to remember some speculation about what people thought would happen in season 5. People were hoping for a "Dexter on the run" season arc all the way back then. Four years later, and it's clear we're never gonna get that.

It's not just signs that it's correct, there's tiny details there that no one could have made up correctly 2 weeks ago.

Another thing that's been bugging me: Why did Oliver Saxon murder Cassie and frame Zach Hamilton for the crime? No, seriously. Why did he do that?

Really, Dex should have learned this after Rita.

They kinda did with "Nebraska," but that episode ended up being a worthless waste of time.

And technically speaking, Dexter does this twice. LaGuerta in season 7 is the same way. By having Deb kill her, they make Deb a much more interesting character at the expense of Dexter, but then they waste all that by making Deb's plot go fucking nowhere.

You're a wanted murderer. There's a TV with your picture on it RIGHT THERE. What do you do in that situation?

Fuck that. More Ghosts. Ghost Brian. Ghost Lila. Ghost Doakes. Ghost Miguel. Ghost Trinity. Ghost Lundy. Ghost Rita. Ghost Lumen (Died off screen two days after leaving Miami). Ghost Chase. Ghost Travis and Ghost Gellar singing a duet. Ghost Victor. Ghost the Direwolf from Game of Thrones. Ghost Brother Sam. Ghost…

Nope.

I'd watch that over the leaked finale.

Vegas has them at 1:2 odds.

SPOILERS

"It's going to be like the last day of school before we all graduate
from a school we hated."

Tell them to watch Breaking Bad or The Shield instead. Or if they insist on Dexter…

So the leaked finale is real. Tonight confirms it. And it sucks so many balls that I honestly can't believe this is the BIG END GAME that these shit writers had in mind. Good fucking God I'm disgusted.

Joshua, next week is your destiny. You know what you must do. Give the shit finale an F and set us all free!

And that would be so much fucking better than the direction we've gone. I was actually hoping when they revealed Vogel had a file on Dexter that she had kept one all those years ago when Harry first came to her, and she realized that he wasn't a "natural" psychopath and tried to "train" him to be one, because Harry…

But then he pulls off his mask to reveal that he's…Gene Parmesan. And Dexter screams.