I really wanted him to finish his Lincoln log before deciding to jump in and save A.J.

The Second Coming - is that where Tony is holding A.J. in his lap, crying, and saying, "It's gonna be alright, baby…it's gonna be alright, baby"? Yeah, that did a number on me.

Awww, you're getting so good at counting. Yes you are!

I'm her…butterfly. Yeah.

Way to take Ryan down a peg, Dada. She's been riding too high for too long.

@Pillbox:disqus,

The fourth paragraph made me wonder if he knows where he is right now.

All our organs are on the left side, too.

@SpuriousGeorge:disqus, yeah, that was the "joke".

Well, they're at least similar in that they're both named John.

I guess you could say….

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Depp, I fear no evil.

Stop trying to make time with my special lady, Adventuresicle.

My hands smell like your mom.

I'm all the way sure, Dr. Robuttnik.

Oh, thank Christ. I first read this as "25 ironic snare drum intros"

Hello in there, Cliff. 

She ruined The Godfather Part III! She must be punished!

There's something in the air at night.

Two wonderful things came of Garth Brooks hosting SNL: Old French Whore and Who's More Grizzled.