Nothing like being topical with a sketch about a shitty movie from 1998.  Whoever pitched an Armageddon sketch should be haunted by the ghost of Gilly and Garth and Kath.

He never had a touch to lose, man.  RIP.  

She was also wonderful on Charles in Charge.  Anyone who has to act opposite Willie Aames deserves his/her own show someday.

Gar wears one of my favorite t-shirts in movie history—Moustache Rides.  God I love that fucking movie.

I will always love Roseanne for the first six seasons of that show, which brings me great joy and comfort to this day.  I could relate to it, growing up in a similar lower-middle class household.  But shit like this is irritating.  It would be fine if she called him out once or twice, but to extend it over several…

We didn't start the fire.

I would have loved to be in the crowd of that Yardbirds show in Blow Up.  And… although it's not a concert but a school dance, I always wanted to be part of the African Anteater Ritual from Can't Buy Me Love.  The band that played the dance was was totally chic.

Anyone have any decent theories why great horror directors struggle to make watchable films late in their career?  There is no denying Argento is (or was) a first rate visual artist who has left an influential mark on modern cinema.  It confounds me how people can just lose it completely.

I too was traumatized by In Search Of Amityville Horror.  The minute they showed the scene with the glowing red eyes I ran out of my home and sat outside for about four hours until I was convince the image had been purged from the TV.

I used to love Bravo's "5 Star Cinema."  I shouldn't have been watching "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" at such an age, but, hey, 5 stars!

Gas man?  How the hell do they know I got gas?

For me, Travis is nostalgia … The Man Who and Invisible Band were soundtracks to some of the best years of my life.  I totally lost track of them, though, and that makes me sad.   I'm so miserable that it's painful to revisit things attached to such great memories.

I would like John Carpenter to direct Jamie Lee in an Activia commercial.

Yeah, but like, 99 percent of the population is Muslim, so …

Well, they certainly won't be celebrating Christmakkuh.

You can insult my family, you can insult my friends, but how dare you insult Mark-Paul Gosselaar's acting. 

I always loved the Mike vs. Clint battle in Dazed and Confused. "Dominant male monkey motherfucker."  

Ziggy Piggy?

Divorce+Remarriage=Adultery would make a helluva country song. 

It's like an alarm clock WOOO WOOOO!