except for Rob Schneider.

I like your haiku.
It could use more swearing, though.
Love, Buttfuck McGee.

wait a minute, you just got those first three from the biology class scene in Twilight, didn't you?  BUSTED.

If there's people like that, I don't wanna meet 'em.

BBZZZZZAAAPP!

well what's important is that you decided to share anyway.

"Who [cares about] my lame Knocked Up reference?"

because Lindsay Lohan isn't dead yet.

yeah, I can't understand reggae lyrics even when they're typed out like this.

I pronounced your mom's dental fricative, and she sure wasn't voiceless.  BOOM!

didn't they make a Thor clone-robot to take his place but then it killed someone or something like that?

the term is "Fieresteined"

You're not evil, but your little italicized footnote does kinda make you a pussy. You could've let the joke stand on its own. For shame, Gentle Herpes.  For shame.

yeah you need to be careful, Hitler's relatives are notoriously litigious.

nope, it was already suborned that way.

my ex-girlfriend used to do this trick where she'd drop almonds and her vagina would shoot out and catch them before they hit the ground.

no one cares what you really meant, we're talkin' crazy vagina monsters now.

SPOILER SPOILER SPOINER

maybe he thinks vaginas work like a xenomorph's second mouth (minus the teeth).  you spread the labia and the vagina comes shooting out to grab the penis.  and that's how babies are made.

oh jesus, petehammer, i have some bad news for you about vaginas . . .