These pretzels are making me Dursty. I'd kill for a glass of water!

Heather has two VHS copies of Heathers: Which is a little weird because it's kind of an inappropriate film for a girl her age

I think you meant to type "Obama!"…

It's true! We're so lame!

Two Jeremy Pivot stories in one day. Rejoice!

I find that a little light Cenac keeps me from overeating at mealtimes.

And no snoozing allowed while viewing…..

Never seen it but I'm guessing this show is not very (The) Good(s)

"Nobody messes with my baby-baby-bro!"

Plus Size!

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed Feig leaves together and made themselves coverings. (Gen 3:7-10)

They sure have a lot of doggone complaints.

"I'm the first pitcher to win the Cy Young Award in both the American and National Leagues"
-MLB Hall of Famer Gaylord Perry

They're called Feig Newtons.

Implied? More like impaled!

Jeremy's… iron?

"avant-pop collective" is the musical equivalent of "punchable face"

How are they gonna play "Good Fashion Cop/Bad Fashion Cop" now?

I think you just combined Abbi and Ilana into some kinda super-awesome hy-broad….

Beanie Babies.