Sweet. I can finally release my album of 25 versions of happy birthday.

theyalive—————————dammit!

FX's mom is better than Netflix's mom and their dad too.

This is long overdue. Look, steroids can't replace talent. Sure, they can help heal a sore back, or aching knees, but they cant teach you to judge the line or pace on a 20-foot putt. Steroids can't help you find just the right volume and timbre with which to voice: "nice shot, sir" or "tough break, sir." Look,…

Sadly, this is accurate.

That's true, and it was a much smaller community. But EVERYONE posted as ZMF.

Fuck Disqus…

One man's toilet is another man's face. Would you like that face to be yours, Hottest Baby Names of 2016?

If a student of mine had written this headline, I would circle "at long last" and "finally," and write "use one, not both."

Back in the good ol' days I would've stolen Everything Bagel's username and declared war on pancakes or something.

Front or back?
Dumper or stumper?

Ok. In this scene your brother is lying on the ground and you don't see him, alright? You come running in and don't see him and fall down on top of him, got it? Good. Cain, when Abel falls on you, you say "ouch, Deuteronomy!"

My guess is by "soapy" they mean bath time.

Fuck off, internet!

Good. Now squeeze the mayo out. Yes, get all of it. Good. Thanks, I hate it when there's too much mayo.

Disqus doesn't care about your tabs or spaces.

Holy shit, dude. Fuck this guy.

*smokes cigarette*

Wow! A reply to my comment from the writer!!!! OH, the DOPAMINE! Unghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

My god, Teti, what have you done with your life?