Before today, I always thought shamans were just from Magik Cards!  Now I know it's actually just Gary Busey!

Wait, is his sight activated by motion, or is that Tyrannosauruses?

Yeah, but the plateau of reality that you can find "Gary Sense" on requires like years of meditation to comprehend.  And, obviously, a bunch of moccasins.

Yeah, when one of my cousins moved away, he couldn't bring himself to ship his VHS tapes across the country, since they're a bulky, obsolete technology and all.  I jumped on them, but there was an unpleasant moment of self awareness as I carried a milk crate full of tapes of 80s and 90s movies to the car, since in a…

That's pretty fucking metal, dude.

That was such a good album, but I'm more of a Locust Abortion Technician guy myself.

"Simpsons And Dawes"

Bees?

That doesn't not work.

A gritty reboot, eh? What if the Mountain is actually the name of the government citadel in a dystopic totalitarian state?  And instead of lovers, Channing Tatum and, let's say, Shia LeBeouf are actually part of an elite government fighting team who discover something embarrassing about the government while fighting…

I just don't see Tatum as being that good looking.  Sure, you could grate cheese on his abs, but he has this weird baby face with tiny eyes and pube hair.  We might need to coin the term "buthis face" because of him.

This is phenomenal.  Can I request anyone with photoshop skills contribute? Maybe with the caption:

Sounds promising, but how much potential do you see for a Squeakquel?

I always thought it was abs.

Soundcloud is actually my favorite social networking site at this point.  There's something supremely satisfying about having a bottomless reservoir of talented musicians who give their music away for free, who can bypass the record industry entirely, and who have complete creative freedom.  Plus, getting feedback…

That c word will leave broadcasting when she's good and ready.

I'm a former Megadeth fan too, for virtue that I put it together that 80s metal was just kind of fundamentally ridiculous around 16 or so. I went back through my CD collection of bad 80s metal this summer when I was visiting my parents, and for as much as metal is supremely mockable, I was kind of surprised to find my…

Sorry, I only subscribe to crackpot conspiracy theories when the person explaining them has a chalkboard and is brought to tears by the force of his patriotism.

Fuck you, Principal CockBreath, I won't do what you tell me!

In all fairness, his five-point Tornado of Stamps plan is pretty innovative.