PBBBTHHHHH!

The show just doesn't work without him.  He's like a sink for all your humanly inevitable ire and disinterest to wash down.  Without him, you'll start projecting all of that on probably Shirley.

IT'S A 19 HOUR NEWS DAY BECAUSE WE'RE PASSED THE FUCK OUT AT LEAST 5 HOURS A DAY FROM DRINKING TEQUILA ON AIRPLANES.

He accidentally let honey run down his chin, and that just stray dog hair that got stuck to him before he left the house.

No, no, the difference is that in Late Night shows, the celebrity is explaining to another celebrity why the thing they're plugging is worth buying while the audience is incidentally within earshot which makes it's affable and fun, whereas here, a celebrity is asking her fans to support her directly, making it crude…

Oprah makes some tweets, News at 11.

Oh god, I bet that thing comes to life after midnight and chases the night watchmen at the House of Wax, hoping to trap him into a conversation about rockabilly and reasons why Angelina Jolie was unworthy of him.

Far too gentlemanly to degrade the quality of cum hungry fuck-slut Angelina Jolie, apparently. 

Wait, you mean the drummer from The Boxmasters was in movies too?  He's a great musician and all, but no way will he be able to make the jump into cinema.

That guy from Slingblade revealed himself to be the Prince of Darkness so gradually, I barely even noticed.

And eats a lotta them french-fried pertaters.

The fact that Lunt is just south of Estes really makes you wonder if Burnham was just fucking with us this whole time.

Oh no, there's no way that could have ended up with any kind of success.

Possible double casting cameo idea, right there.

I can see the headlines now: "Garrett Morris: Apparently Not Dead!"

This isn't settled at all, I can't stand Gratuitous Acronyms (or GAs).

The calls are coming from inside the house.

Ambitionlessly caustic?

Sean O'Neal conversing with his ghost about joke telling?  There's a Tom Stoppard play in here somewhere.

With option 2, I expect there to be a scene where an afternoon out to the monk burger joint turns suddenly violent when good natured ribbing suddenly turns darker and causes a fight, thereby exposing how deep the ever present racial tensions run in the monastery.  After Denzel regains control, he can mutter something…