Fine, so the metaphor doesn't exactly work.  Wait, maybe Wain is a California role, Showalter is ginger, and Black is wasabi?  Or maybe he's the malt powder in a chocolate malt?  God, I don't know anymore.

St Augustine after he stopped whoring around in Roman Africa?

I'm no Helen Lovejoy about violence in the media, but the kill count of Rocky 4 is about the size of my graduating class from grade school, plus the year before it, plus the year after it.  It's more than a little strange we would regard him as a hero rather than a sociopath if you picture it like that.

Michael Ian Black is like the raisins on oatmeal raisin cookies.  Without David Wain's cookie dough and Michael Showalter's oatmeal, he's complete inedible, but with them he's just wonderful.

I have a certain amount of faith in the supporting cast on this one, at least.

I went from flaccid to hard just from picturing that.

That guy was even more quotable than Wesker was in the original Resident Evil.  WELCOME, Strangah!

God, I don't know if I'll be able to watch that until after Obama's out of office.  I don't even like watching his victory speech in Grant Park at this point because it brings back all that idealism we projected on him.

That would be a surprisingly different direction to take the series in.

Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president's daughter from Jimmy Sander's backyard?

Hey, Sly, how bout some sequels?

Actually, given the morality rate of the Lincoln family children, I am hoping against hope for a particularly tasteless subplot about Edward Lincoln rising again.

@avclub-0f0d67e214f9fef69b278e3d08114da9:disqus and @avclub-f9dc5c1b905401733b9aaf49c03c071d:disqus win the internet.

The internet has never been the same after that cat.

Will he be rejoining the heroic freedom fighters of Afghanistan in their glorious struggle for self determination against their imperial Western oppressors?

@Fraggins:disqus I usually assume that's why anybody does anything.

Vampire liberals!  Whoops!  I forgot to tell a joke!

Well, werewolf literature originated during the Victorian era along with vampires as responses to Victorian repression, only they symbolize the repression of anger and violence rather than sexuality.  The Republican Party is still absolutely the party of repression, but I don't really know there's a clear political…

On the one hand, I'm laughing at her name, but on the other hand, I'm laughing at the fact that she's worked for her entire life to become an Olympic athlete and this is most likely all I'll ever remember her for.

Does alternative US history include the one where the Civil War was a noble cause to ensure self determination in the face of a totalizing federal bureaucracy, or does it have to have vampires?